English Aussie Slang Short Stroy

Well it’s another day again in Broady*, and my relo and I went down to the bottle-o to pick up some grog for the big* game of* *aierial* *pingpong* *this arvo* between the mighty pies and the dons*. When we got down there we realised that we spent *all *our *moula* at the servo. â€Å"ey* cobber *ya* old bastard*,* we better mull u*p, we got no cash† *â€Å"true* blue *ya* dag, *haha* no cash no problem† *â€Å"better* grab the metho as well *fella*† *â€Å"no* time knackers, *weve* got get home before everyone else *karks* it down there† â€Å"what* other dills are coming over for the pies v dons game *ya* donger*† â€Å"just* the *fellas* from the waterhole*† â€Å"bullshit*, fair dinkum, better have the ambos on speed dial† *â€Å"S*orry Jimmy† *â€Å"Dont* worry about it* *Bazza*,* *im* busy like a one legged bloke in an arse kicking contest, will call past* the shops to pinch a few snags†* We quickly called pa st Woolies* to pick up some snags and *sangers*, was an easy five finger discount but we had to piss bolt home *to set up. * I was surprised the dickheads at *Woolies* couldn’t see us knick anything, I mean two *yobbo’s* like ourselves, you should never leave us unattended*. Anyway *Bazza* and I chewed the fat while I drove back to our crib. As we got back to our shack, Bruce was waiting at the door in his *jarmies*. Nice guy* a real *whacka* *thoe* but behind him was a 24 pack of *buddys*, what a hero! Soon after all the boys were down and ready for the b*ig game. *Bazza* fired up the BBQ and the snags were roasting. *â€Å"Hey bruce* could you finish the BBQ off mate† â€Å"Cock and bull, Ya* old bastard* I don’t know how to use one† *â€Å"Give it a burl ya* dill† *While they were sorting out the barby I turned on the idiot box to the game. By now there were alot* of dead marines* and durry butts everywhere, no sign of liquid laugh in sight. I screamed out *â€Å"ay* alfs games on† *All the dongers c*arted there asses in the lounge like billy kids *wanting a *sucker. *Every bogan* in my lounge room was tripping out, *i* was surprised any one could see the scores. â€Å"Carn the pies† *I yelled. W*e got off to a beaut of a star*t, with Diddy (Alan *Didak*) to a bonzer start as well as *clokey* (Travis *Cloke*) thumping 3 goals through in the first quarter*. You never know with the Dons, they always come back with their sandgroper Lovett Murray the *boonga*, his too fast for every other digger out there. Nothing that â€Å"Neon Leon† (Leon Davis) can*’*t handle, will be right! The second quarters just started and some fucken* *cruddy’s* just pushed the door bell. I got up and saw trouble at the door, it was an electricity *employer. Straight away I thought bummer, *i* knew what this was about. â€Å"Ay you the owner of this establishment† *â€Å"Yeah ya* bastard† *â€Å"Good, Im* here to cut off your power† â€Å"Get fucked† Bazza herd what was going up and go up immediately and said *â€Å"whats* this about? This guy giving you curry† *â€Å"Yeah fuken* yobbo’s cutting of the power† *â€Å"what* about the pies match† Then the electricity worker said *â€Å"tough* titties *ya* bogans† *The electricity dill choked the electricicity* and we were unable to watch the game. â€Å"Cunning as a shit house rat† I screamed out as he left in is donga mobile *We where now all at rockwood* end now we were going to miss the game for sure now. *Until i* thought of running a cable to the neighbours across the road. *â€Å"you* sneaky *boonga* they all said† *â€Å"shud* up *ya* bastards this is an important game, id brawl with a bull to watch this match† *So I ran the extension cord from my house to the neighbours without them knowing. Slid through the back gate of there* crib and plugged it into their garage. The Idiot boxed turned on and the yobs screamed like yanks from across the road, I ran home like a lost *joey* but had missed all the second and third quarter. I had spat the dummy*, *i* was* spewing*. The pies were wining and killing it. Soon after the siren went and we were stoked, running around lick head less chicken. *COLLINGWOOD had* a ripper of a game* *thrashing the Bombers by 6*5 points at the G. *The pies *creamed* the dons 18. 12 (120) to 8. 7 (55 In front of a crowd of 90,*000. Th*e Pies seized control with a stunning first quarter* as far as *i* was concerned*. * Everyone went home and started recovering from the big day. I was about to catch some Z’s on the couch as I herd* some sirens *i* got up to go outside and see what was going on as *i* got to the door the pigs were there, with hand cuffs. They had looked back at the *Woolies* tapes and court us stilling. Luckily *Bazza* had got away, but that *wasnt* all. Bacon was frying*. T*hey looked around the house and found the cord*. They took me too the cop shop and sent me to jail for a few weeks. Nothing to serious thank fuck.